Theresa is a DBT Success Story in Toronto
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Name, age, city/town:
Theresa M, 47, Toronto
What was the most rewarding thing about learning skills?
I’m in the driver’s seat. I don’t have to wait until a therapy session to get relief. I have tools to ease my own emotional pain whenever I need it most.
What are your favorite skills to use?
The Core Mindfulness Skills- Wise Mind: States of Mind. Blending Reasonable & Emotion Mind, using the What & How skills. ‘What’ we do when practicing mindfulness: Observe, Describe & Participate. ‘How’ we practice mindfulness skills: Non-judgementally, One-Mindfully & Effectively.
What advice would you give someone who is starting to learn DBT?
Don’t do what I did! I underestimated the value of the Core Mindfulness Skills and it took me 2 rounds of the entire DBT program to catch on to it. Now, it’s the “secret sauce” that underpins all of the modules for me. I’ve realized that the more mindful I am, the more I can observe what’s going on in my thoughts, my body, my world, the more awareness I have of what skill would serve me best in the moment. Or as a DBT instructor so eloquently put it once, a lack of mindfulness is akin to “walking through a room full of furniture with a blindfold on- you’re gonna get an owie! Take the blindfold off and observe your world.” It didn’t happen overnight but I realized that the time is passing anyways- why not invest some time in sitting with myself & my world. It’s free & it’s always there!
How has your life changed since learning DBT?
I have coping skills that enable me to do deeper work on parts of myself & life experiences that I couldn’t do before, without self harm. DBT has given me a range of adaptive behaviours to cope with challenging emotions. It’s given me a foundation to rebuild my life upon, over time.
How are you creating a life worth living today?
I stand on the shoulders of giants like Amanda! I honestly keep the skills at the forefront of my life, utilizing tools she has created. I begin the day sitting with myself in an eclectic Spiritual Practice that includes meditation, to check my own internal weather report. Then I check in with Amanda’s daily dose of DBT wisdom in her My Dialectical Life email. Devoting some time in this way anchors me in skillfulness & gives meaning to life’s challenges. I end the day with my DBT planner, recognizing all of the skills I used, goals I worked towards, things I’m grateful for & my shining moment. I start & end my day with bites of DBT thanks to Amanda. I truly share my DBT Success with her!
Totally adore you, Theresa! Thank you for inspiring me and others. Together we can create lives worth living. —Amanda
