Rachel is a DBT Success Story in Ohio
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Name, age, city/town:
Rachel, 33, Lorain, OH
What was the most rewarding thing about learning skills?
The most rewarding thing about learning skills is I’m no longer living in emotional reaction. For so long, I felt that if someone did something, or said something, or made me feel some type of way, my reaction was out of my control. It was an almost involuntary reaction to what they did or said, but that really gave them all the power over my own behavior. Now I can differentiate between what is and isn’t within my realm of control, and I only really have to work to manage the things that are within my control. It’s very freeing and at the same time, empowering. I used to constantly react, sometimes in damaging and self sabotaging ways. Now I have the freedom and power to respond skillfully, rather than impulsively react.
What are your favorite skills to use?
My favorite skills are Observe and Describe, Building Mastery, the Please skills, and Radical Acceptance. Observe and describe are the two I use most often, literally every day. I used to have full blown panic attacks up to five times weekly, and I could not control the emotional and psychical symptoms. But now, when I start to feel the panic rise, I use observe and describe to mindfully, inquisitively, and nonjudgmentally simply notice my symptoms. Without fail, the panic subsides, and panic attacks have gone from multiple weekly to maybe one every six months or so. It used to be a daily reality, and now my symptoms are practically gone thanks to observe and describe.
I tend to lack some confidence and self efficacy, so building mastery helps me build upon the areas of life that I already have some skill in (such as piano and knitting). It makes me feel competent and in control. The please skills are essential for me as well, because my medicine regimen, working out, and especially eating healthfully have helped me address some physical issues and just generally make me feel more confident and capable. Finally radical acceptance is the skill that helps me be at peace with how things are, even if I don’t particularly like how they are. It is what it is!
What advice would you give someone who is starting to learn DBT?
My advice is to absolutely immerse yourself in the skills! Whether or not you think it will be effective at alleviating your symptoms, just give it a try! And do not wait until a crisis to use the skills - think of it as homework and use the skills even when things are going well. This will make them easier to use and more like second nature when you are in a crisis.
And when you notice yourself judging, don’t judge your judging! :)
How has your life changed since learning DBT?
DBT has changed my life in so many ways! I used to chronically self harm, but I haven’t self harmed in almost six years (since right after I began DBT). I used to struggle with suicidal ideation and suicide attempts, but I haven’t been hospitalized for this is nearly three years. I was never able to be stable in a job - I would either have panic attacks or impulsively quit or have to call off due to being hospitalized. While I only work part time now (playing piano for a church), they are able to count on me being there and working as a vital part of the team. I wasn’t able to have stable relationships prior to DBT, and now I’m engaged in a healthy, stable relationship and planning my wedding. I’m not perfect and now I realize I don’t need to be perfect in order to be a healthy, productive, worthwhile person.
How are you creating a life worth living today?
I do so much to create my life worth living today! I have a job that I love, using my degree in music and building mastery and confidence by doing something I’m good at. I work really hard in my relationships with friends, family, and significant other - to keep them healthy, stable, and mutually beneficial. DBT gives me the skills to make my life what I want it to be - not just an impulsive reaction to the external. I have control over my own responses, which means the world to me. I am continuing to learn how to validate myself and let go of things not beneficial for me. I have to say this is the most content and stable I’ve ever been, and I owe it to the skills I’ve learned in DBT!
Go Rachel! Thank you for creating a life worth living with DBT. —Amanda
