Catelyn is a DBT Success Story in Vancouver
/
Name, age, city/town:
Catelyn, 32, Vancouver, British Columbia
What was the most rewarding thing about learning skills?
The most rewarding thing about learning skills was realizing there was hope. There is something I can do, or way of being, in this moment, that will enable me to tolerate distress or change the circumstance. Sometimes the “answer,” however is to simply not make the situation worse! I learned to tolerate my intense emotions, and that having strong feelings doesn’t mean acting on them. This is empowering. It was rewarding for me to learn that while I could make a choice, I would first need to accept the emotions present- non judgementally. When I first heard of DBT skills, I thought it was a cure. I came to realize that it wasn’t, and that this is not tragedy. I am still emotionally very sensitive, *AND* I create a life worth living. DBT skills has been a big part of my recovery, and recovery in my view is a journey, a way of living, where we are kind to ourselves even when we have painful emotions and urges, we can use distress tolerance skills, we can give ourselves huge doses of compassion, while also acting in a way that is * effective,* and can help us feel better.
What are your favorite skills to use?
I use dialectics—walking the middle path—I ask myself, several times a day, is this a “both and” and where is the kernel of truth? Challenging myths on emotions has been very helpful for me too, as well as mindfulness of current emotions. There are skills we can use to reduce intense emotions, with attention to vulnerability factors such as using PLEASE skill, which is helpful. As someone who also deals with chronic physical pain, I have learned that radical acceptance is an important and life changing skill for me. I use Radical acceptance, willingness, and turning the mind- every day.
Learning to challenge myths about emotions has been super helpful- reminding myself there is no “right” way to feel, and I can validate the feeling, that it may make sense that a feeling is arising and is strong. Feeling an emotion and acting on it are not the same and don’t necessarily go together. Anger is sometimes justified…and I can feel strong emotions and not act. This is life changing. I truly didn’t know that before learning DBT skills.
I also love using IMPROVE the moment a distress tolerance skill. I have found creative ways to use imagery and find meaning in the midst of pain and distress.
What advice would you give someone who is starting to learn DBT?
DBT skills may feel hard and you can keep trying. I would also give the advice o consider how both acceptance skills and change skills are important and have value. I had done some very change focused therapy groups, before learning DBT skills and I found this unhelpful for me. I constantly felt criticized as if the social worker was telling me that I was a problem that needed fixing. The “magic” of DBT skills I think is that it is about this dynamic dance with both, acceptance and change. *And* is a word that has transformed my mental health. An understanding of mindfulness skills were what I needed to learn first. I did come to see value and use in change skills too, and I use them every day! But- I know without the “acceptance skills” DBT would not have been helpful for me. And this is what makes DBT unique and life changing. The dance with Acceptance and change.
How has your life changed since learning DBT?
While feelings may be justified, acting on them may not be effective. My life has changed because I no longer act on painful urges and have learned that having emotions don’t make me “bad.” Learning to label emotions, and validate my internal experience has changed my life. DBT is for me a way of living…rather then, a program I check off a list and move on. For me it is a “way of living and being.” It means waking up each day and dancing with acceptance and change.
How are you creating a life worth living today?
I am creating a life worth living by helping others, such as sharing a bit of my story here, writing, creating, and finding purpose and meaning through self expression and connection. I don’t believe we are here in this life for ourselves, I believe we are here for one another, and that connection, love, and meaning are what make life worth living. Using my learned skills, my struggles and strengths to inspire Hope, and love others, is what creates a life worth living for me.
I love Catelyn’s dialectical life! Thank you so much for inspiring me and many others with your life worth living. —Amanda
