Kayla is a DBT Success Story in Los Angeles
/
Name, age, city/town:
Kayla, 26, Los Angeles, CA
What was the most rewarding thing about learning skills?
I think that the skills have put me back in control. For many years, I was using alcohol and marijuana to manage my emotions. When I got sober, I understood that I needed a way to cope. AA meetings helped but I needed something more. The skills (like Wise Mind and STOP) helped me so that I could make decisions that helped me to remain sober but also take that next step so that I could do something more with my life. Today I take life one day at a time (thanks AA!) but also one skill at a time (thanks Marsha Linehan!).
What are your favorite skills to use?
Wise Mind was the first skill that I learned and that made sense to me. Do what is wise—not what your emotions are telling you to do. For years, I was led by my emotions. I didn’t know of any other way and it got me into a lot of trouble. I destroyed a lot of relationships because of my alcohol use. I didn’t know if I could really live without alcohol but the word “wise” made sense to me. I was like, “Yep. I can do this ‘wise’ thing.”
I also love the distress tolerance skills. It was another “a ha” moment for me when I began to learn them. Like IMPROVE the moment. I can make the moment better. As I learned how to track my skills, it made sense. I got it.
I wish that I had learned these skills when I was younger. That’s a big regret.
What advice would you give someone who is starting to learn DBT?
The skills are easy but they are tough. DBT is hard work. Don’t let anyone tell you this isn’t a big deal. Using the skills day after day is hard when you’ve been self-destructing.
My advice is to stick with it. You can’t quit when it gets hard. Life is hard. DBT is hard. My therapist said, “You can do hard things,” and she was right. Don’t quit!
How has your life changed since learning DBT?
I’ve been sober for almost three years and I began to learn the skills when I was free from alcohol about 90 days and could think clearly. I can’t believe it but this is my new life. I don’t have to use alcohol to manage my emotions. I can do this with the help of my DBT skills, my therapist, my sponsor, and my husband. I thought that I couldn’t have this life. I didn’t believe in myself. I couldn’t even get through the day because I didn’t know how to cope with life. I thought this reality was for other people.
Today I’m an MSW student and I want to work with people who are challenged with addictions and substance use. I know that my story and my experience can help others who are hurting.
How are you creating a life worth living today?
I use a lot of skills when I study and that’s a part of my life worth living.
I’m using them all the time in my classes and they help me to manage my social anxiety. It’s amazing how the skills translate to the real world of school and work. I’m convinced that you can use these skills to do almost anything. Graduating is my next goal but I’ll find a way to use the skills tomorrow and the day after that. These skills are for life.
Go Kayla! I loved learning about your life worth living. You’ll make a terrific social worker. —Amanda
